[Nightlight]

[seeagreatergood]

So things got awkward and Auggie moved his stuff back out of the Stark household into Milliways.

And he's been totally fine with it. Honestly. It's been kind of a relief not to have to keep such a close eye on himself the last three or four days. Milliways is kind of anxiety-inducing, but less anxiety inducing than living in a house with those two young men.

Of course, he misses the easy camaraderie. But it's not like this is the first time he valued safety over friendship.

Comments

[if_inconvenient]

"Well. Thank you," he murmurs. "I did think I was being quite obvious, but that is a kind thought and a good principle to follow. It remains, I suppose, to ask whether we are going to do anything about it."

[seeagreatergood]

"We shouldn't," immediately. "You're more than ten years younger than me, Sherlock, and don't give me any crap about actually being a hundred and fifty. It would be extremely inappropriate."

[if_inconvenient]

"Auggie, I'm more than ten years younger than Tony. It does not stop us. The man who just gave me this lovely beating is forty-five. These things do not trouble me the way they trouble you."

[seeagreatergood]

The man who--

Dammit, no, he is not getting distracted.

"Yeah, well, I'm still troubled."

[if_inconvenient]

"You have every right to be." He shrugs. "I cannot change your mind for you."

[seeagreatergood]

"Yeah, and if you tried, I might have to kick your ass."

It doesn't quite reach his usual level of sarcasm, but it's a step in the right direction (i.e. away from the pants-shitting fear that Sherlock would be accusing him of abusing their trust).

"Does Tony know, too?"

[if_inconvenient]

"He took you at your word when you said you were not interested and has not reevaluated the matter since."

[seeagreatergood]

He snorts.

"That kid."

That's the kind of trust that makes him worry about Tony.

[if_inconvenient]

"And he loves you," Sherlock says quietly. "We both do."

[seeagreatergood]

Ah, right, that other terrifying detail.

"I know."

Well, it was a good enough answer for Han Solo. (Being frozen in carbonite sounds kind of relaxing right about now.)

[if_inconvenient]

"I don't know how to convince you that you have nothing to be afraid of."

[seeagreatergood]

"Neither do I."

He sits back in his chair, rubbing his face.

"I told you I don't want you or Tony to get hurt. That goes double for getting hurt by me. And the chances that I'll eventually hurt you are pretty fucking high."

[if_inconvenient]

"Why?"

[seeagreatergood]

"Well, one, I've got kind of a track record, and two, because I will always put my work over you."

[if_inconvenient]

"Does it follow that we are necessarily doomed? I don't believe it does."

[seeagreatergood]

"Why not?"

[if_inconvenient]

"Your work and I are not in conflict."

[seeagreatergood]

"Insofar as you live in a different world, sure."

He takes a deep breath. "But if I can come to Milliways, there's no reason people from my world can't, too. Someone could come here and see me with you or Tony and decide you're a way to get to me. My bosses could come here and find out I lived with a couple of boys barely out of high school and terminate me. I could go back to my world and be killed in an op and you and Tony would never know where I'd gone."

[if_inconvenient]

"True on all counts, but it seems to me that the only one which would get measurably worse if we were also fucking you is the second one."

[seeagreatergood]

--Auggie cracks up.

"Well, when you put it like that."

[if_inconvenient]

He grins.

"And are your bosses the sort to care?"

[seeagreatergood]

Sobering: "Yeah. On a personal level, maybe not, but on a security level -- yes, they care about my relationships."

[if_inconvenient]

"Well. I will not stop being Sherlock Holmes for them. I cannot fail to notice things they likely would not want me knowing. But again, that is true even now."

[seeagreatergood]

"Yeah." A sigh. "But it's a lot easier for me to convince them that you're -- and that I'm not a security risk if we're just friends. Speaking from experience."

[if_inconvenient]

"Do you believe I am a security risk?"