[Nightlight]

[seeagreatergood]

So things got awkward and Auggie moved his stuff back out of the Stark household into Milliways.

And he's been totally fine with it. Honestly. It's been kind of a relief not to have to keep such a close eye on himself the last three or four days. Milliways is kind of anxiety-inducing, but less anxiety inducing than living in a house with those two young men.

Of course, he misses the easy camaraderie. But it's not like this is the first time he valued safety over friendship.

Comments

[seeagreatergood]

He breathes in.

When he breathes out, his shoulders slump visibly as the tension goes out of him. He leans forward, elbows on his knees, resting his head on his hands.

"I didn't want to assume." He lifts his head, looking toward Sherlock. "I would never assume."

[if_inconvenient]

"Well. Thank you," he murmurs. "I did think I was being quite obvious, but that is a kind thought and a good principle to follow. It remains, I suppose, to ask whether we are going to do anything about it."

[seeagreatergood]

"We shouldn't," immediately. "You're more than ten years younger than me, Sherlock, and don't give me any crap about actually being a hundred and fifty. It would be extremely inappropriate."

[if_inconvenient]

"Auggie, I'm more than ten years younger than Tony. It does not stop us. The man who just gave me this lovely beating is forty-five. These things do not trouble me the way they trouble you."

[seeagreatergood]

The man who--

Dammit, no, he is not getting distracted.

"Yeah, well, I'm still troubled."

[if_inconvenient]

"You have every right to be." He shrugs. "I cannot change your mind for you."

[seeagreatergood]

"Yeah, and if you tried, I might have to kick your ass."

It doesn't quite reach his usual level of sarcasm, but it's a step in the right direction (i.e. away from the pants-shitting fear that Sherlock would be accusing him of abusing their trust).

"Does Tony know, too?"

[if_inconvenient]

"He took you at your word when you said you were not interested and has not reevaluated the matter since."

[seeagreatergood]

He snorts.

"That kid."

That's the kind of trust that makes him worry about Tony.

[if_inconvenient]

"And he loves you," Sherlock says quietly. "We both do."

[seeagreatergood]

Ah, right, that other terrifying detail.

"I know."

Well, it was a good enough answer for Han Solo. (Being frozen in carbonite sounds kind of relaxing right about now.)

[if_inconvenient]

"I don't know how to convince you that you have nothing to be afraid of."

[seeagreatergood]

"Neither do I."

He sits back in his chair, rubbing his face.

"I told you I don't want you or Tony to get hurt. That goes double for getting hurt by me. And the chances that I'll eventually hurt you are pretty fucking high."

[if_inconvenient]

"Why?"

[seeagreatergood]

"Well, one, I've got kind of a track record, and two, because I will always put my work over you."

[if_inconvenient]

"Does it follow that we are necessarily doomed? I don't believe it does."

[seeagreatergood]

"Why not?"

[if_inconvenient]

"Your work and I are not in conflict."

[seeagreatergood]

"Insofar as you live in a different world, sure."

He takes a deep breath. "But if I can come to Milliways, there's no reason people from my world can't, too. Someone could come here and see me with you or Tony and decide you're a way to get to me. My bosses could come here and find out I lived with a couple of boys barely out of high school and terminate me. I could go back to my world and be killed in an op and you and Tony would never know where I'd gone."

[if_inconvenient]

"True on all counts, but it seems to me that the only one which would get measurably worse if we were also fucking you is the second one."

[seeagreatergood]

--Auggie cracks up.

"Well, when you put it like that."

[if_inconvenient]

He grins.

"And are your bosses the sort to care?"

[seeagreatergood]

Sobering: "Yeah. On a personal level, maybe not, but on a security level -- yes, they care about my relationships."

[if_inconvenient]

"Well. I will not stop being Sherlock Holmes for them. I cannot fail to notice things they likely would not want me knowing. But again, that is true even now."

[seeagreatergood]

"Yeah." A sigh. "But it's a lot easier for me to convince them that you're -- and that I'm not a security risk if we're just friends. Speaking from experience."