August Anderson (
seeagreatergood) wrote2011-08-30 09:49 pm
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[Nightlight]
So things got awkward and Auggie moved his stuff back out of the Stark household into Milliways.
And he's been totally fine with it. Honestly. It's been kind of a relief not to have to keep such a close eye on himself the last three or four days. Milliways is kind of anxiety-inducing, but less anxiety inducing than living in a house with those two young men.
Of course, he misses the easy camaraderie. But it's not like this is the first time he valued safety over friendship.
And he's been totally fine with it. Honestly. It's been kind of a relief not to have to keep such a close eye on himself the last three or four days. Milliways is kind of anxiety-inducing, but less anxiety inducing than living in a house with those two young men.
Of course, he misses the easy camaraderie. But it's not like this is the first time he valued safety over friendship.
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He takes a breath. This isn't easy. It needs to be done, but it's not fun.
"I'm sorry. I was an asshole. I'm still having trouble figuring out which parts were the most dickish, so I'm just going to apologize for the whole conversation."
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". . . Thanks."
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He rubs his forehead.
"I'll tell you what I told Tony now, though. I'm not sorry for worrying about you. I am sorry for implying you can't take care of yourselves."
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He doesn't like feeling like an idiot for only understanding the important part, and maybe it shows a little in the tension in his shoulders, but he firmly puts that thought aside. Not helpful. He's putting Sherlock at his ease at the moment and if that means getting his ego bruised, he'll just have to deal.
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He lifts his head, his eyeline fixed on some point on the back of the couch.
"I need to know exactly what you want from me and why you want it."
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He sighs.
"I want to be your friend. I would also like you to take me seriously if possible. It seems to me that, given we are both interested, having sex would be a natural consequence of believing I am competent to make my own decisions, but if you would rather leave that part alone I am quite content to. I would like... I would like, I think, to have the sort of friendship where I can hug you and kiss your cheek and tell you I love you. Is that sufficiently exact?"
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"Yeah. That . . . yeah, that's plenty exact."
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He thinks about adding honestly, but he's pretty sure it would just piss Sherlock off again if he implied for a second that Sherlock was being less than candid.
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Sherlock contemplates this question for a second or two.
"There are things in the world that you want because they will get you something else and things that you want because you want them. This is one of the latter."
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"Thanks."
Exactly what he wanted to hear.
He's going to try not to second-guess it.
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"Are we all right, then?" he asks softly.
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He sips his drink. "And for the record, I do take you seriously. If I didn't I wouldn't fight with you."
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